Why Being Fat or Skinny isn't Everything

I encountered a bit of an odd situation this week. As many of you know, I wrestle with my weight, mainly because I'm wrestling to find the time to exercise (something that I actually love to do and would definitely describe as a "serious hobby"). Now, it's not uncommon to have friends who are/were as you are/were. Like most heavier people, I have/had some heavier friends. We share the other hobby of fine dining and cooking (another "serious hobby" of mine). What struck me as odd was that this week one of my longtime friends (who also struggles with weight) posted pictures of a trip, but completely excluding images of me. Why? Because he was considerate of the fact that I may be sensitive about having "fat" pictures of me all over the Internet.

Am I the only fat person in the world who is not ashamed of being fat?

I was fat. It's not a bad word, it's a description! :) I was fat, then I was skinny, now I'm sorta' pudgy ... I suppose I wouldn't want someone to literally say to me, "Amber, you were/are fat," but I cannot deny that such a thing was/is the truth. Besides, I was fat, not DEAD.

Just because there are less than flattering pics out there doesn't mean I wasn't having a good time. I have to admit, sometimes I grimace when I see pictures that show how heavy I had become. I also admit that sometimes I like seeing myself being heavier and obviously having a blast at whatever it was I was doing. It reminds me that there is so much more to life than how we look. And that is an issue that I'm constantly wrestling with now that I've been "skinny" and have gained back some of my weight. I've learned the dark secret of "skinny" people and that is that they abhor fat folks. There is a good number of folks who are appalled by extraneous flesh; they feel sorry for us fatties. They hope to never "let themselves go like that." Really, I feel very sorry for them.

I've been on both sides of the fence and would have to say that I'd rather be fat (but fit) with a healthy zeal for life than be obsessed over my looks and appearances and what others may think of me. Do I deny that I would like to be skinny? No, but I have a limit--a price point at which it seems an unreasonable price to pay. I never want to feel that I'm too fat or skinny to do anything ... and I believe that is the real key to weight management. Truth is, I'd rather be fit and athletic if that was an option. Like right now ... I'm a little pudgy, but I'm damn fit. I'm doing high-intensity cardio 6X a week, Pilates/Yoga 3X a week, and am about to add weightlifting 2X a week. I've got a few bicycling Century (100 miles) events coming up and I'm planning to re-race the first Triathlon event I had ever done.

I'm not ashamed of being fat or overly proud of being skinny. These are purely side effects to my true goals: to enjoy my hobbies (exercise and eating) whenever and wherever I can! Come to think of it, the only "weight-loss" goal I have is simply to have as much fun as possible no matter what the scale says.